True Blood: Jesus Loves the Little Vamps

Warning: Don’t read if you haven’t seen True Blood Season 5, Episode 2 – Authority Always Wins

“Jesus loves vampires. I mean, anyone who’s been dead for three days knows where we’re coming from” – Steve Newlin

This week True Blood finally listened to all their naysayers; out with the sex and in with the religion. Somehow I think they might have missed the point.

Oh the backstory we learned this week! The elusive Authority was finally revealed and it is much less executive suite than Nan Flannigan would have suggested. No instead it seems much more heavily influenced by religion. In fact, surprise, surprise, there’s an entire Vampire Bible, the Original Testament, if you will.  And it seems to be based around Lilith who, as Wikipedia has informed me, is a character of Jewish mythology who is thought to be related to a class of female demons. According to the folklore, Lilith was the first wife of Adam, made from the earth instead of his rib, though she refused to be subservient to Adam and left him and the Garden of Eden to start lady festivals around the world.

All Hail Lilith

According to the historians of True Blood, Lilith was created in God’s image… and she was a vampire. From what I could gather from that bastardized communion that kicked off Bill and Eric’s sentencing, Lilith is like the vampire Jesus. Now, whether the blood given out as “hers” is actually hers, i.e. she was The Authority’s maker or whether it was just symbolic, though still much more authentic than grape juice, remains to be seen, but, if it was truly “her” blood that would make The Authority very old and very powerful indeed. Bill and Eric better watch those sassy comebacks, though I hope they don’t.

Speaking of the power of The Authority, did it strike anyone else that Steve Newlin’s return to the spotlight coincided a little too well with the end of Nan Flannigan’s spokesperson career? And where did he find ten thousand dollars in cash to spend on human trafficking? And most importantly, how can he say with such confidence that Bill is no longer the King of Louisiana? I would bet Lafayette’s do rag collection that the reverend was created by The Authority to be the new face for their mainstreaming campaign and I would also bet that its going to blow up in their faces.

Creepiest thing to wake up to?

Also blowing up all over the place is Terry, whose PTSD has gone from tolerable to time to hide all the sharp objects quicker than it takes to start a house fire. I suppose the little snippets we got of Terry’s combat memories counted as backstory, but they were so frantic and short and frustratingly generic, it hardly added anything. What is interesting is that both Terry and Patrick have decided the fires are being started by the last remaining member of their troop, who is currently living off the grid. Luckily, it’s not so far off the grid that Terry can’t pop over for a little chat. I personally don’t think this will be so easily resolved and here’s hoping that I’m right.

But my favorite bit of backstory of the night, was of course the meeting of Eric and Pam. The year was 1901, the place San Francisco and human Pam is just trying to get by running a seemingly successful brothel and wearing some fantastic corseted dresses while she does it.  My first thought when she discovered the mutilated body of one of her girls was that Eric was the perpetrator. I’m hoping that’s not the case, while we do know Eric was never the nicest of vampires I don’t think there would be that much blood left in the room if he was involved. I think it’s more likely that the creepy dandy from the street was the attacker in that instance as well.  While human Pam still had a lot of the same snark as vampire Pam, it was strange to see her so visibly frightened. Pam’s reaction to thinking she’s alienated Eric is the most emotion we’ve ever seen from her and even now she’s still so outwardly strong and composed, its strange, but still endearing, to see her trembling before Eric in his coat and tails. I guess a century with a Viking teaches you to keep your emotions in check.

Does this look like my happy face?

And how is Pam’s latest progeny enjoying her first undead night? Well, in so-obvious-I-can’t-believe-I-even-have-to-state-it news, Tara is pissed she’s been turned into a vampire. Because not only have her two best friends turned her the one thing she hates most, they have also given her a maker with no interest in teaching her how to cope with this change, starved her, trapped her, silvered her, banished her to ground against her will, and then thought about just killing her again. You know, because that’s better than just letting her die with a shred of dignity. Like I said last week, there was no way Tara was going to be pleased with this solution. Lets just hope she finds some better friends in this next, never ending life, but since its Tara, its probably unlikely she’ll find anything but trouble.

Which brings us to our final “shocking shot” of the episode; Russell Edgington is getting stronger. And creepier. I think the True Blood make-up people took one look at Dennis O’Hare on American Horror Story and said,  “Oh, you think that’s disturbing? We’ll show you Dennis O’Hare looking disturbing!” Since it seems that Russell’s concrete time out has weakened him considerably, someone is bringing him his “meals”, but who? Probably the same person who dug him out and I’m guessing someone involved in the mysterious Sangunista movement. From what I gathered from the Vampire Inquisition, the movement is committed to keeping humans as nothing more than food and playthings, so who better to represent them than the spine crusher himself.

There are a lot of balls in the air and it’s only the second episode of the season. It’s hard to say where all those balls are going to land, but with religious overtones, fire starting veterans, and a sociopathic vampire on the loose its already looking a lot more fun than ware-panthers and boundary challenged ghosts.  Lets hope it doesn’t disappoint!

A Few Last Burning Questions:

Is Nora going to have the shortest TV career ever and be given the true death or will Eric come though to save her?

Who made Reverend Newlin?!?

Will Alcide really have a choice in becoming pack master? Those must be some powerful laws since none of the pack even seems to like him that much.

Seriously, when did Bill and Eric become such good friends? I guess murder really brings people together.

Why did it take Pam so long to change out of that sweat suit?

Is Emma not the cutest baby wolf you’ve ever seen?

Your turn!

– Devin Mainville



  1. Reblogged this on Adiek84's Blog and commented:
    Recap of the second True Blood episode from Season 5. So far this season is really good! I love the twist with Tara being a vampire now (a very drastic detour from the books) and the glimpse into Vampire politics is pretty cool too. The highlight of this episode was definitely the flashback of Pam’s and Eric’s first meeting. I wanna see more of that!

  2. Sue

    Loved Eric in tails.

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