True Blood: If You Like Making Love at Midnight… In a Cemetery

Warning: Do Not Read If you haven’t seen True Blood Season 5 Episode 4 “We’ll Meet Again”.

Wake up sister, its just a book. I knew the guy who wrote it and he was high the whole time.” – Dieter

Well, we’re getting into the meat of the season and while this episode lacked the usual excitement, you can just feel all the parts being set up for an epic last half of the season. Although maybe I’ve become a bit jaded if I think fairy orgies, a car accident, two dead bodies and a little kid getting staked aren’t exciting.

So let’s start at the beginning, just as everyone and their mother predicted, Pam came to save Tara, commanding her as her maker to un-curl and stop frying.  Tara is right; Pam seems to play that card a lot more often than most makers. Even Eric didn’t pull it when he was interrogating her about Russell. Back to Pam though, while she may not have this whole maker thing down yet, she’s definitely giving it more of a try. After a lot of resistance, Tara does seem to be adjusting to her new life, but I guess it’s always easier to accept change on a full stomach.

As your viewer I command you to stay together

And finally Pam and Eric were reunited, though it didn’t start off as the reconciliation Pam has been envisioning.  Am I the only one confused about why Pam was their first choice to interrogate? I get that there are very few people who knew where Russell was buried, but I still think Pam had every right to be offended that they chose to talk to her first.  Anyway, after Pam had cried enough to convince Eric that she hadn’t betrayed him, they had what is possibly the most moving scene in True Blood history. I understand why Eric felt the need to let her go, but I hope it doesn’t mean she literally has to leave his side. That’s no fun at all, which is why I doubt it will happen.

We also finally got to see a little of what gave Terry this nasty case of PTSD. It seems that he and his troop were celebrating the 4th of July (how topical!) a little too hard when things got out of hand and about a half dozen civilians got killed. Yep, that sounds pretty traumatic.  Why this would cause someone to start a bunch of fires, we’re still waiting to find out. But Terry and Patrick tracked down the remaining member of the troop in a bunker and they still seem convinced he is the one responsible for torturing them with their past. Now, if we work off the rules of Law and Order, and I think we can all agree we should, having a mural of crazy drawings in your underground bunker under your off the grid bit of land doesn’t bode well for you’re sanity. But Law and Order law also states that its way too early in the game to catch the killer. Let’s hope Christopher Meloni has passed along these guidelines.

Speaking of Mr. Meloni, clearly the Guardian doesn’t have an ounce of the detective skills of Elliot Stabler or he would see quite clearly that the sexy little minx sharing his bed is also the traitor he’s staking children over. I’m done playing guessing games with this one; I’m just going to say that Salome is Sanguinista. The complete breakdown Nora had when Salome and Roman were interrogating her was enough evidence for me. Nora was clearly struggling with how to give them information to save Bill and Eric without naming the crazy bitch currently finger painting with blood on her chest. It’s a tough place to be in, but luckily she had the annoying kid as a back-up.

You’d think a kid would know to clear his hard drive

So did Salome plant the evidence on the kid (sorry, he’s wasn’t around long enough for me to learn his name), or was he truly Sanguinista as well? I would rather say that Salome planted it because it would just be more fun if she was that decidedly evil, but thanks to that scene between the chancellors sans Roman, I’m gonna have to go with the kid really being a traitor. In fact, it seems like the only one taking all this Lilith stuff seriously is Roman. Could there be even more traitors in the Authority’s midst?

Moving into the light, just as I am becoming annoyed with plotlines being abandoned, we’re given more information on that slutty fairy Andy encountered last season. And it turns out all the fairies are a little slutty, but man can they throw a party.  I suppose the purpose for the fairy orgy club is to create more half fairies to build their numbers to fight off this eminent vampire attack. Do they know something we don’t? Are baby fairies still super strong? Or is this attack going to happen years down the road? Are they just trying to not die out? The vampires seem pretty busy attending to other matters and barely seem aware that fairies still exist, but hey, maybe they just need a good excuse to throw a forest rave.

The moment team wolf has been waiting for

And finally back to Sookie, who is fast becoming my least favorite character. Feeling super sorry for herself after Alcide stormed off and she read everyone’s mind thinking terrible, but true, things about her, she decided to just wallow in her self pity instead of doing anything worthwhile. So while Alcide went and covered for her with Debbie’s parents because he is the BEST MAN EVER, Sookie got drunk.

Hysterically so, actually. Her new lyrics for “Escape (The Pina Colada Song)” were the best part of the episode. But then Alcide showed up to tell her again what an amazing man he is and since she was drunk she made a move on him. Because I’m sure he has to rely on getting woman drunk to make out with him. Whatever. Before anyone could take their shirts off, which is just as well because a girl can only handle so much shirtless Joe Manganiello in one day (Magic Mike review coming soon!), Bill and Eric showed up to check on Sookie. Now, they might have decided to be gentlemen all of a sudden, but that seemed like a real good time to talk to Alcide about how Russell might have gotten out of that concrete. They’d be doing their job for The Authority and cock-blocking Sookie. Win win.

We’re almost to the halfway point and I cant wait to see how everything shakes out!

A Few Last Burning Questions:

Why would vampires have killed Sookie and Jason’s parents? If Sookie is only half fairy and Jason isn’t at all, than at least one of her parents had to be human.

How cute was it that Jason was thinking about Jessica when he was with the fairy? I think someone may be in love…

Being the TV nerd that I am, I noticed that the director of this episode, Romeo Tirone, is also the cinematographer for Dexter. Did you feel this episode was little bloodier than usual?

Did those bombs over Iraq look a little strange to you? And what was with the drawings of the scary figure amongst the other crazy drawings? I can feel the supernatural creeping in.

Why does Lafayette keep turning into that horrible demon and doing horrible things? Please make it stop.

Why does Sam have his own storyline? THERE IS ALREADY TOO MUCH GOING ON!!!

– Devin Mainville


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