True Blood: Lilith Fair(ies)

Warning: Do not read if you haven’t seen True Blood Season 5, Ep. 11 – “Sunset”.

“Ke$ha: For or against? Do you like her music? She doesn’t really sing, does she? She talks. I suppose that makes her some sort of poet. That’s alarming because her spelling is atrocious.” – Faerie Elder

Oh, and add child abuse to that list too. Dick.

So Bill is officially a dick. He started heading into official dickdom this episode after a visit from Lilith. All naked and hissy, she told him that only one person could lead vampires during this time and she chose him. He then let this power go straight to his head and abandoned all pretenses of being a decent person.  Of course we later saw that Lilith said the exact same thing to at least two other chancellors. She sure gets around for a (maybe) fictional vision.  One was Salome, who makes sense, and the other guy doesn’t matter because Bill decapitated him so we don’t need to bother learning his name. The really strange part is that these Lilith visions were leaving behind actual physical evidence, i.e. blood. This is strange because most hallucinations do not do that. So is Lilith real? Is it all a trick by some anti-vampire sect out to destroy all vampires? All will be revealed next week. Hopefully.

Moving on to what happened this week, Nora finally broke free from her brainwashing and hopped on board Eric’s cut and run plan (after she hopped on top of him). The brilliant plan involved killing The Authority’s government contact, which might not have been the best move, but whatever works. (Side Note: I love that this runs all the way up to the government; one it was a great scene and two, its just generating more fodder for the conspiracy theory message boards and its always fun to rile up those wackjobs.) After also killing their security detail (the blood bath has begun) Eric and Nora took off into the night, bat style. Luckily the previews suggest their escape won’t last much longer (I’m guessing Pam’s peril will draw Eric back).

Speaking of Pam, she was less than pleased about the assassination that took place in her office and kindly explained The Authority and how they operate to Tara.  That might have been a better lesson a littler sooner so perhaps that particular crime could have been avoided, but all mothers makes mistakes I suppose. In the end, when Barb from Cougar Town came calling (Sheriff Stringy Hair was her progeny) Pam took the fall for Tara and was arrested by The Authority.  Didn’t I say they would grow to care about each other? I love when I’m right. But, if the writers even THINK about putting them together as a couple I will write them a VERY strongly worded letter and as anyone who has ever received a strongly worded letter from me can attest to, that would be unpleasant.

They do look sweet though. Besides the grave.

And who would even suggest such an atrocious union?  Jessica, who had been through a great ordeal so I will forgive her for brining up such silly nonsense. This time. Since Jessica hadn’t had any blood of Lilith she was still relatively sane and therefore looking to get the hell out of there. She attempted to use the pretense of warning Jason about Steve and Russell and then came up with the ludicrous idea of changing Jason into a vampire as a way to escape. Funnily enough that didn’t work with sociopathic Bill and he called her bluff and had every intention of forcing her to turn Jason. Sookie’s brother and only living family. The writers are really backing themselves into a corner if they have any intention of ever getting Sookie and Bill back together. Or if they want to let Bill live.

Of course Jessica didn’t turn Jason into anything except a vampire killer so he was free to lure Steve and Russell to the fairy lair (try saying that five times fast).  Just as everyone predicted the first thing Russell and Steve did once night fell was go looking for Sookie. They assumed that she was the only fairy left and therefore their only chance at day walking.  Under the influence of glamouring Jason told them there was a whole bunch of fairies just waiting in a meadow and gamely showed them the way.  It looked like he was folding like a cheap suit, but apparently that was the whole plan. It was very Ocean’s Eleven.

Hopefully next season the faires can exist on a less tacky plane.

And now I need to backtrack for a moment to talk about this elder fairy they introduced. She was the oldest fairy that had managed to escape to this plane and therefore had powers that even other fairies don’t posess. That also meant that she “operated at many frequencies” which basically boiled down to some freaky dancing and questionable taste in music. Sookie’s only intention was asking her about this Warlow character and why she had been sold to him, but she was interrupted before anything worthwhile could be shared. Instead Sookie was able to rally the fairies into fighting Russell.

So back to where we were, Russell and Steve can smell the fairies, but are still unable to see them, Sookie is ready to fry them with her fingers, but the elder fairy has another idea. She goes out alone, I guess with the intent of fighting Russell herself. It seemed plausible. Russell is the oldest known vampire, she is the oldest known fairy, she seemed to know of him when Sookie said his name so perhaps she knew what she was up against, in short, it seemed evenly matched. It wasn’t. Russell drained the fairy with very little effort and now is able to see all the faires peeking out from behind that bordello curtain. This should be interesting.

Thanks for this though.

Some Other Stuff That Happened: Alcide brought back the fight in his father and killed some baby vamps and Andy is not pleased to be having a fairy baby. Sam and Luna ran around naked and mouse like, interchangeably, and accomplished nothing besides a funny exchange with Pam. Side note to the writers: if three plots can be summed up in two sentences they’re not necessary.

A Few Last Burning Questions:

Did anyone else catch Russel removing Steve’s hand from Jason’s arm? He’s jealous, things are getting serious!

Who is against John Cougar Mellencamp but for Boyz II Men? I’m back to hating you, Sookie.

So maybe my road trip spinoff idea fell though, but what about Pam running a school for baby vamps? Teaching them the ropes, helping them mature, she’d be like Mrs. Garrett, but in more leather.

– Devin Mainville

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