The Voice: The Search for Christina’s Pants Begins

The Voice is back ladies and gents; the reality singing competition with a heart! And in case during the hiatus you may have forgotten who the SUPERSTAR coaches are, there was a helpful little intro to remind us. Adam Levine is the lead singer of Maroon 5?!? I had no idea, tell me more. Then, in case we forgot how awesome they were, the coaches kicked off the show with a rousing rendition of “Start Me Up” and it looks like someone has forgotten something. That someone is Christina and that something is her pants. Will she find them before the season ends? Stay tuned to find out.

They kept teasing a new twist, but so far the only thing that changed is Cee Lo’s creepy cat being replaced by an even creepier bird and Christina’s disk hat has been replaced by a bejeweled fan, expect lots of fanning for dramatic effect.

On to the talent!

First up was a Scottish Guy (he probably has a name, but I didn’t catch it and you know that’s how you remembered him anyway). He had a basic backstory; he was in a band but took a break to start a family. Carson presented him a video from his family in Scotland. He was moved, but sorry Voice, you’re gonna have to work a little harder to pull on these cold heartstrings. He rocked out to “Baba O’Reilly” by The Who and Blake, Adam, and Cee Lo all turned around right at the end. And the first contestant of the night went to the reigning champ, Blake.

Next up was De’ Borah, a pastors kid who was raised singing in the church, but was banished when she “cut her hair”. She insisted that she’s “into love, not gender” then clarified that she is gay. Uh, yeah, in other news. She sang a peppy version of “Soul Sister” by Train. Cee Lo and Christina turned at about the same time, right before she hit that last note. But in the end she went with Christina, which prompted our favorite lady coach to run up on stage (the first of many times) and it was revealed that she had just pulled her shirt down so it almost looked like she was wearing pants. Almost.

Back from the break and we’re introduced to Gracia Harrison, a young country singer who also happens to yodel. No sob story here, just some mad yodeling skills. Respect.  Gracia “yodeled” her way through  “I Wanna Be a Cowboy’s Sweetheart” and it was the best thing to happen to yodeling since that goat song from Sound of Music. Pretty quickly, Blake, Adam, and Cee Lo turned around. Adam campaigned hard for her, but she still chose Blake. Adam threw a fake fit. It was more charming than it sounds.

Then is was time for Garret, a 16 year-old  One Direction reject and son of a jazz musician. He had the sob story of the night (dead dad and all), but not the goods to back it up and his mediocre version of  “Have You Ever Seen the Rain” didn’t turn a single chair. And this is what makes this show so refreshing; other shows would have passed him on based on the cute factor, but these blind judges simply sent him packing with some constructive criticism and sympathetic nods.

Then there was Devyn, a could be model who has some sadness issues. Don’t they always. She was even home schooled because she was super shy. They are really grasping at straws for sob stories here. Music saved her… from being shy? She seemed to be completely over her wallflower days when she took on “Ain’t No Other Man”. Surprisingly Christina buzzed in first (maybe she thought it was a recording of herself and she was really just being thrown into the competition Big Brother style), followed by Adam and then Blake. Apparently they saw a reflection somewhere, because for me, she’s resting on pretty. After putting the other judges through the wringer, she still chose Christina.

Bryan Keith  was up next to tell us about his Grammy award winning dad who worked with Paul Simon. He doesn’t want to use his dad, but… did he mention he worked with Paul Simon? But nepotism didn’t even need to be a factor because that boy can sing and he killed “It Will Rain” by Bruno Mars. Blake buzzed in immediately, then Christina, Cee Lo and finally Adam. Bryan named his dad as his inspiration and he immediately burst into tears. My cold heart was almost melted. Damn you, Voice.  He went with Adam.

Daniel Rosa, who brought us the most heartbreaking moment of last season, was back with a gained confidence, but the same adorable cardigan.  He sang  a striped down version of “Somebody That I Used to Know”. The judges still seemed hesitant and it looked like Daniel was going to have his heart broken for a second time, but thankfully Cee Lo proclaimed he liked it and buzzed in followed by Blake. Daniel’s diction was a little rough, but he definitely made the song his own. It was endearing that Daniel was so touched the judges even remembered him. That kind of modesty will take you far, work it kid.  He chose Cee Lo as the guy to coach him to more confidence. I say it’s a perfect fit.

Anita Antoinette, Jamaica native and Berklee graduate, dedicated her song to her mother. She sang “No Women, No Cry”, no one turned around. Good thing she has that Berklee degree to fall back on. They then allowed her to try the song out acapella, which was freaking fantastic. Too bad it didn’t count for anything. But all the judges urged her to come back next year and it seemed like they really meant it. I can feel my heart thawing a little!

Product Placement Time! Carson drove around in a Kia to invite people to audition! People pretended to be excited about Carson driving up in a Kia!

Joe Kirkland was next and he had a moving tale about stepping up to front his band after a flaky singer bailed, they then sold 100,000 singles. Tough times, bro. He took on “Gives You Hell” by All-American Rejects. It seemed pretty generic pop punk to me, but  Adam seemed super into it and hit first followed, of course, by Blake. Blake played the brotherhood of vests card, but Joe felt a stronger connection to the frontman brotherhood and went with Adam.

Then Christina Milan proved she has the most pointless job in the world and explained to everyone how twitter works. Speaking of unnecessary explanations, do they have to remind us how the show works every time we come back from commercial? People who have never seen the show understand the concept, lets move on.

And we’re moving on to Jessica Sharpe a small town girl and hairdresser currently fronting a cover band. She’s a pretty clichéd big fish in a small pond, so it was pretty clear she was about to get a rude awakening. She sang “Son of Preacher a Man” and Christina seemed ready to buzz in, but didn’t and neither did anyone else. She was invited back next season by Blake, so then Christina felt the need to prove she has feelings too and awkwardly ambushed her for a hug. Mostly she just proved that she’s still not wearing pants.

Then we got a montage of some people who didn’t have a good enough sob story or a good enough voice, but hey, still got ten seconds on TV. Live it up, kids.

Like all good… everything, the best was saved for last and in this case the best was 18 year-old Trevin Hunt. A kid from the wrong side of the city, originally from Ghana, and the son of a garbage truck driver he already had a good backstory, but then he just had to keep adding to it. Music completes him and gives him confidence even when he was told he’d never make it blah blah blah. The sob story wasn’t needed as soon as he started in on “Listen” by Beyonce. Christina turned around after the first note, followed by Blake and Cee Lo, but Adam kept his back turned because apparently he forgot his ears on the break. Trevin put on the act that it was a hard decision, but pretty quickly settled on Cee Lo.

And the episode ended with all the teams even at two people each. Isn’t it odd how that worked out? Thoughts on this crop of talent so far? We have two more nights of this shiz, pace yourselves and see you tomorrow!

– Devin Mainville

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