The Voice: Blink and You’ll Miss the Battles

Only three battles in one episode? It’s clear the battle rounds will soon feel just as long and tedious as the blind auditions once did, but for now they are still fresh and exciting. So, without further ado…

Cody Belew vs. Domo, “Telephone” by Lady Gaga

Domo is back! And she and her earrings are going to take over this competition and the world! I was really hoping Cee Lo would pair this ego with a hairdo with someone to just take her out quickly and quietly, but this song seemed much more suited to her pop sensibilities. Cody was mostly worried that Domo’s booty would be stealing the spotlight and Cee Lo’s attention, but a few rehearsals with Domo and her earing sized ego is probably enough for Mr. Lo. They both brought the dancing, but there was very little singing being brought. Cee Lo talked a lot, but it basically boiled down to who he wanted to spend more time with. Winner: Cody.

Aquile vs. Nathalie Hernandez, “You Give Me Something” by James Morrison

Christina let everyone in on her secret for wonderful battles; delude yourself into thinking this is the Grammys. Hey, whatever works. The biggest problem facing this duo was Nathalie didn’t have the life experience for the song (eye roll) and Aquile wasn’t able to tune out his competition. At least those are the problems they chose to discuss. I think the real problem is that after singing this duet with a 15-year-old Aquile is going to have to register on some kind of list. Pediphelia undertones aside, both of them where very good and the duet was of course phenomenal, but Aquile’s voice sounds like anything you can already hear on pop radio, whereas Nathalie is bringing something new and interesting to the table. The judges obviously forgot that they were now agreeing with me, and sided with Aquile because Nathalie needs more time to grow as a singer. Winner: Aquile.

Unfortunately there are still enough uninteresting people that we got a brief montage of battles. Sad.

Caitlin Michele vs. Melanie Martinez, “Lights” by Ellie Goulding

Time for a battle of quirkiness, a hipster showdown complete with leg warmers and funky vests. Still, with all that hipness the package was pretty boring. I can’t even imagine how dull the people who got montaged must have been. Or maybe the producers think stupid hair is the same as an interesting storyline. Or perhaps boring rehearsal footage is the secret to an amazing battle performance. Melanie’s voice is definitely interesting, but it ranges from interesting in a good way and in a what-the-hell-is-that way. And Caitlin is phenomenal all the time.  Also Melanie is triggering my art school PTSD so I need her to just stop. Winner: Melanie.

But of course Caitlin wasn’t going anywhere either. Both Cee Lo and Blake rang in to steal her. For once Cee Lo was actually fighting for a singer and it paid off. See what paying attention and participating can get you! Team: Cee Lo.

Nest week get ready for that steal button to be worn out!

– Devin Mainville


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